My bad habits has to stop

Let us be realistic here, I have been a smoker for about 4 close to 5 years.

1 day i smoke about 14 sticks, 1 stick is equivalent to 50 cents. therefore 1 day i use 7 dollars on ciggerettes.

given that I use 7 dollars a day to smoke, in a week that will cost 49

52 weeks in a year will give, 2548

in 4 years that would mean $10,192

WHAT THE FUCK, I could have been driving a good damn car already. I have wasted 10,000 on ciggerettes and this has to stop.

Given that 30 bucks for petrol a week, 676 in a year. 2548-676=1872.  If i quit smoking and support my car, I still have got money to save.

I pledge to myself that from thursday on the 30 august, I will cease to be a smoker and I will stop smoking forever and ever. I will cold turkey and take whatever effects come may. I hope that my friends and family will support on my action. I will go smoke free for the sake of my health, my family, my gf.

Always felt left out being the only one smoking nowadays. I have been missing out too much, with that amount of money i could have saved. I can do it, and I will do it!!!!

These few days, I have been thinking so much. So much about the future. it is so worrying. and then, I start to miss my gf..=( how to express such a feeling of loneliness all of a sudden. How i wish I could hug her, hold her hands. We have been apart for 7 months coming to 10 months...I wonder what has happened to her. I hope she would still be the girl I love. Missing her so much.

I was so foolish in the past to argue with her so often over small little things. Why did I do that. Only when im  studying overseas that I understand her importance to cherish her so much more. Oh god I miss her so much. I didnt felt so much of missing her when I left Singapore for Australia. What does the future hold? I hope it is a happy ending for us....

I cant wait to go back to sg to meet with my gf. Apart from that, is there anything to go back for? I am only a lonely soul. Am I meant to live all alone in life?

Why am I feelings so shitty, why why why....haiz...So many wonders, so many questions, but could we answer to all those feelings. I must be faithful. I must correct all my mistakes.

Everytime I feel stressed or emotional, I would go for a jog in the gym now...but would it be short lived. I wish so much so often that I could depart from this world...Is there really something to live for apart from my gf...What am I thinking...

School work is crashing down, and I am feeling more and more lethargic...please help me.....please let me end my misery...This is the path I chose. I love it, but is it worth it afterall??